You know there are two people in this world. People who understand Curt Cobain's writing, and those who don't, like people still try to ascertain what "Smells Like Teen Spirit" is about. I admittedly don't understand what he was putting across, but I can kind of understand where he's coming from and maybe that's what the point was supposed to be. ANYWAYS
These past three weeks have been a blaze for me. It feels like life has been moving at the speed of nuclear rockets, launching off. First slow, but once they gain speed its like WTF!!
In all honesty the feelings I have for things right now, I don't know how to post, or maybe I don't want to post, maybe its like little cultures that were destroyed in favor of national cultures, we're afraid of the fact something was destroyed. Thinking about it, I am at a loss for who I am as a person, relative to me and relative to others. Am I giving off what I want to be portrayed as? Where do I start? Does it begin with ethnicity? I'm a half breed who hasn't adapted a single of any of my cultures mannerisms. I can't speak tagalog, nor do I act like a filipino during parties or don't try to give myself off as one, and on the white tip, let's be honest The only cultural thing about white people is indie music or what they do socially, and I don't think I act white at all (notify me if I do).
It feels like a lot of my friends are changing or rather I'm changing and it they just don't feel the same anymore. Not to mention the people I hang out with at school (val, cherine, karen m, warren, and cyrenne) aren't really that close to me. I guess you could say its partially my fault since I don't put effort into building these relationships. People have always looked at me as this outgoing friendly dude, but I'm really just as introverted as everyone else.
Iono my head is numb from the blunt today, so that's it for tonight. Heiwa
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you know, the only filipino thing about me is the fact that I can be one hellova FOB and I don't understand tagalog either. Not knowing the language of your ethnic background doesn't set you up in anyway.
ethnic = background
culture = community absorbency
you my friend are a subject of the growing community of the hip-hop culture. The things you know, wear, listen to, yada yada yada... in my opinion, you don't have to adapt to whatever you heritages' cultural mannerism, it's as long as you see you actually adapted a sense culture over all.
if you are at a loss of who you are, you can't ask if you are giving off what you want to be portrayed as.
Don't feel bad, I don't put any effort in talking to you because of whatever, I don't know where I fall in our friendship, but I know that I can trust you with things.
no homo but, <3u
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